


simone the pan nerd

by saphcels



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, M/M, Social Media AU, a lot of swearing tho, alec had brown eyes btw just thought i’d say that since its very important, and a lot of snjksl, and asjklsl, bc it is, did i mention its gay?, everyones lgbtq+, idk how to tag, like really gay, messaging, rip vine, soft, very gay, we dont like the biphobic mess that is alec in the books
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 14:06:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12344196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saphcels/pseuds/saphcels
Summary: alecthearcher added glitterbane, whipdab, lilgay, wolfiee, artdude, jacewayronwood, itsyaboi and pansexualnerd to 'announcement'just a lot of gay really, like a lot.





	simone the pan nerd

**Author's Note:**

> usernames:  
> alecthearcher - alec lightwood  
> glitterbane - magnus bane  
> whipdab - izzy lightwood  
> lilgay - lily chen  
> wolfiee - maia roberts  
> artdude - clary fray  
> jacewayronwood - jace whatever his last name is im kinda lost at this point  
> itsyaboi - bat velasquez  
> pansexualnerd - simon lewis (i call him simone a lot in this im sorry it lowkey stuck)  
> santiagoaway - raphael santiago
> 
> look im not a funny person but well this has been in my notes app (aka dominoes favourite app) for a while so,,,,  
> oh and btw theyre all basically roomates so magnus, alec and bat live together. jace, raph and simon live together. then clary and izzy live together. and lily and maia live together,,,i mean they all live in apartments next to each other but

alecthearcher added glitterbane, whipdab, lilgay, wolfiee, artdude, jacewayronwood, itsyaboi and pansexualnerd to 'announcement'

7:28 pm

alecthearcher: i added yall here to tell you something  
alecthearcher: but im nervous to say it so i just hope i have your support  
glitterbane: is everything okay  
glitterbane: you seemed fine this morning  
whipdab: whats up bro  
alecthearcher: dw mags everythings fine  
alecthearcher: wait a min is everyone here?  
alecthearcher: say if you are  
glitterbane: hello  
itsyaboi: heyo  
jacewayronwood: sup  
artdude: hii  
pansexualnerd: hey  
lilgay: yo  
wolfiee: yo  
whipdab: henlo  
alecthearcher: okay here it goes  
alecthearcher: lily and maia are two bitches and i hate them  
alecthearcher: this has been a psa  
lilgay: fuck off perhaps?  
wolfiee: youre the bitch BITCH!  
whipdab: what happened  
artdude: what did they do now  
glitterbane: is this because of last night?  
alecthearcher: yes  
glitterbane: well then don't overreact they didn't do anything wrong  
alecthearcher: THEY WENT TO IKEA WITHOUT ME  
alecthearcher: HOW CAN I NOT OVERREACT?  
whipdab: chill alec  
alecthearcher: they know i like to walk around the kitchens and pretend im doing a house tour  
alecthearcher: i bet they did one with out me  
wolfiee: we did  
jacewayronwood: YELLED  
pansexualnerd: i agree with alec, lily and maia are bitches  
alecthearcher: thank you simone  
artdude: simone  
lilgay: fuck off simone  
wolfiee: simone you bitch leave  
whipdab: simone the pan!nerd  
jacewayronwood: aha simone  
itsyaboi: simone  
pansexualnerd: oh fuck off  
glitterbane: leave him alone kids  
pansexualnerd: thank you magnus  
glitterbane: you're welcome simone  
artdude: IM YELLING

alecthearcher changed the name to 'simone the pan!nerd'

alecthearcher: creds to izzy for the name  
itsyaboi: better than the last one  
alecthearcher: don't judge i had to get everyone’s attention  
artdude: so thats why it sounded like you were coming out or something  
artdude: except you wouldn't be coming out since you already are  
lilgay: imagine a het alec  
alecthearcher: ew lets not  
glitterbane: please no, i love my alec who is very much gay  
alecthearcher: :)  
glitterbane: :)  
itsyaboi: ew stop he's smiling too much rn  
whipdab: cute  
alecthearcher: bat i will punch you  
glitterbane: wait you're with him bat?  
itsyaboi: yeah  
glitterbane: well can you both hurry up  
glitterbane: im hungry  
pansexualnerd: hi im simon nice to meet you  
jacewayronwood: you're simone stfu  
glitterbane: he's sheldon  
itsyaboi: solomon  
artdude: salmon  
whipdab: samuel  
lilgay: sally  
wolfiee: samantha  
alecthearcher: susan  
pansexualnerd: okay the last three didnt even make sense  
alecthearcher: but clarys did?  
lilgay: she said salmon  
pansexualnerd: its my favourite type of fish so i let it slide  
pansexualnerd: or should i say swim??  
glitterbane: no you shan't  
pansexualnerd: okay mr 19th century  
alecthearcher: hey back up susan  
alecthearcher: say anything like that again and i'll break your face  
glitterbane: aww look at my boyfriend being all heroic and protecting me  
artdude: cutiess  
lilgay: yo alec you coming ikea with me maia and magnus tonight?  
alecthearcher: wait magnus is going??  
alecthearcher: have you known all day mags?  
glitterbane: ...  
alecthearcher: YOU DIDNT TELL ME EVEN AFTER I PROTECTED YOU  
alecthearcher: TRAITOR  
wolfiee: why does he get called a traitor and me and lily get called bitches  
alecthearcher: bc i would never call him a bitch,,i love him  
glitterbane: i love you too  
itsyaboi: he's smiling again  
itsyaboi: OW  
whipdab: what??  
itsyaboi: he punched me in the arm  
alecthearcher: i told you i would  
whipdab: well why did you have to say ow  
whipdab: just tell us he hit you  
itsyaboi: i like using sound effects  
pansexualnerd: the technical term for when used while writing is onomatopoeia  
artdude: nerd  
pansexualnerd: i came here to state facts  
pansexualnerd: not to be attacked smh  
lilgay: ow isn't technically onomatopoeia tho, bang and boom are  
pansexualnerd: nerd  
lilgay: i'll rip your face off sally  
pansexualnerd: why do you hate me lily?  
lilgay: ion even know you tf?  
pansexualnerd: we literally grew up together  
artdude: exactly^  
lilgay: stfu carrot idk u either  
itsyaboi: thats an insult to carrots  
alecthearcher: IM YELLING  
itsyaboi: you're literally stood next to me alec  
itsyaboi: and you aint yelling dont lie to your friends  
glitterbane: dont lie to your boyfriend  
lilgay: dont lie to your fellow gay  
wolfiee: dont lie to your fellow lgbt  
jacewayronwood: dont lie to your brother  
whipdab: dont lie to your sister  
artdude: dont lie to your sister in law  
pansexualnerd: dont lie to the guy who gave you his last donut yesterday  
alecthearcher: stfu susan  
alecthearcher: and  
alecthearcher: sis in law clary??  
alecthearcher: you and izzy aint married  
artdude: yes we are  
whipdab: we are??  
artdude: yeah we got married yesterday  
alecthearcher: WHAT  
glitterbane: WHAT  
artdude: did you just send that at the same time  
alecthearcher: yeah but thats not the topic rn we been knew that me and mags are soulmates  
wolfiee: i went to the wedding  
lilgay: same  
jacewayronwood: so first you don't invite alec to ikea  
jacewayronwood: then you dont invite us to clary and izzys wedding??  
jacewayronwood: you didn't even invite izzy  
wolfiee: didnt think she'd like it tbh  
lilgay: yeah it was rather boring  
wolfiee: no dj  
lilgay: no cake  
wolfiee: no priest  
lilgay: no fun  
artdude: HEY!!  
artdude: DONT JUDGE MY LONE WEDDING MAID OF HONOUR 1 & 2  
wolfiee: soz  
lilgay: soz  
itsyaboi: whats with yall sending texts at the same time  
glitterbane: we're all soulmates  
pansexualnerd: WAIT THEYRE THE MAID OF HONOURS???  
pansexualnerd: TF ABT ME  
itsyaboi: wouldn't you be like the dude of honour  
pansexualnerd: did you just assume my gender?  
itsyaboi: fuck off tumblr  
glitterbane: will you and alec hurry up bat?? im really hungry and you know i wont start without alec  
glitterbane: i'll start without you though  
itsyaboi: oh thanks bane  
glitterbane: you're welcome bartholomew  
pansexualnerd: if you wanna fight me  
pansexualnerd: then fight me  
whipdab: tf?  
lilgay: sure  
artdude: we're watching old vines  
pansexualnerd: come fight me lily  
jacewayronwood: dare you  
lilgay: its on blond dude  
pansexualnerd: NO DONT  
pansexualnerd: I WAS JK  
alecthearcher: LILY STOP  
alecthearcher: WAIT TILL ME AN BAT ARE THERE  
itsyaboi: WE'RE RUNNING  
wolfiee: lilys shouting "im gonna bitch slap you shit bag" while looking at the pic of me mags and simon  
wolfiee: what have you done to my girlfriend simone?  
whipdab: simone  
pansexualnerd: IM SORRY LILY DONT FIGHT ME  
itsyaboi: WERE BACK FIGHT HIM  
glitterbane: is that lily shouting step the fuck up kyle?  
wolfiee: yep  
jacewayronwood: whos kyle?  
artdude: its from a vine  
artdude: *view video attachment*  
alecthearcher: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP KYLE  
glitterbane: NO WHAT DID YOU SAY DUDE  
alecthearcher: WHAT THE FUCK DUDE  
glitterbane: STEP THE FUCK UP KYLE  
itsyaboi: phew iconic  
whipdab: legendary  
wolfiee: amazing  
lilgay: never been done before  
pansexualnerd: wait are you not fighting me now lily  
lilgay: yeah i just stopped to text that  
itsyaboi: yo yall we got popcorn ready  
alecthearcher: come to ours quick  
glitterbane: we got seats ready  
jacewayronwood: ME AND IZZY ARE COMING NOW  
wolfiee: bringing the drinks  
lilgay: dont bring my sangria  
lilgay: magnus will drink it all  
lilgay: OR THE WHISKEY HE'LL DRINK THAT ALL TOO  
lilgay: just bring water  
lilgay: and a plaster for simone  
pansexualnerd: PLS LILY  
artdude: shit shes outside the door  
artdude: shes just opened it tf  
artdude: it was locked  
wolfiee: raphael told her were the spare key was incase he wasnt home when we went out w simon  
glitterbane: so basically raph is helping to get sheldon slapped  
wolfiee: basically  
itsyaboi: love them bf instincts  
itsyaboi: wish you were like that jace sMh  
jacewayronwood: i'll try harder bartholomew  
artdude: shit she's just grabbed his hair and is pulling him out  
alecthearcher: DRAG HIM LILY  
glitterbane: is she gonna punch him yet?  
lilgay: IM TAKING MY TIME  
alecthearcher: ITS BEEN A LONG PERIODICALLY TIME  
wolfiee: oh shi  
itsyaboi: wha did he say  
itsyaboi: I COULDNY HEAR HIM  
itsyaboi: THE HUGO BOSS AD CAME ON AND I WAS LIKE FUCK YOU HOT  
itsyaboi: HELP  
jacewayronwood: ahem??  
itsyaboi: its theo james i mean come on  
jacewayronwood: i’ll give you five seconds  
itsyaboi: snjlsl  
itsyaboi: i was like you hot but not as hot as my gorgeous boyfriend jace  
jacewayronwood: better  
artdude: he said im sorry lils  
itsyaboi: OH SHIT  
wolfiee: the only people it’s acceptable to call lily lils is me and magnus and alecs future kids  
glitterbane: were you two planning mine and alecs future??  
wolfiee: basically yeah  
artdude: OH FUCK  
alecthearcher: BIH HE DEAD  
alecthearcher: sidenote mine and magnus’ kids will be legends wow  
glitterbane: rt^^  
whipdab: SHIT THATS GOTTA HURT  
jacewayronwood: girl your punch is good remind me not to cross you  
artdude: simon looks deceased  
glitterbane: MISS SIMON? MISS SIMON?  
alecthearcher: OH MY FUCKING GOD SHE FUCKING DEAD  
whipdab: do you two just react to everything with vines  
alecthearcher: yep  
glitterbane: yep  
alecthearcher: MY NAMES MICHAEL WITH A B AND IV BEEN AFRAID OF INSECTS MY ENITER LIF-  
glitterbane: STOP STOP STOP WHERE?  
alecthearcher: HM?  
glitterbane: WHERES THE B?  
alecthearcher: THERES A BEE?!!?!!!1?1!  
artdude: yall on drugs  
pansexualnerd: im alive wig  
lilgay: only just  
pansexualnerd: bih im strong  
wolfiee: lesbehonest you aint  
pansexualnerd: STOP ATTACKING ME!!!  
jacewayronwood: quite literally  
alecthearcher: WHEN THERES DRAMA AT SCHOOL ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS  
glitterbane: WALK AWAAAAAYYAYYYY  
lilgay: me in the hunters moon last week  
itsyaboi: lesbEhonest it was luke  
whipdab: afhjks  
wolfiee: lEsBeHoNeSt  
wolfiee: shut yo gay ass  
itsyaboi: bitch  
artdude: he's had enough of us tbh  
jacewayronwood: he prolly hates us  
whipdab: maia does your dad hate us?  
wolfiee: probably not  
wolfiee: okay yes he probably does  
wolfiee: but he lowkey loves yall  
wolfiee: and obvi my mom loves you all  
pansexualnerd: theyre the softest aww  
alecthearcher: phew love my parents

8:12 pm

itsyaboi: YALL WE BE WATCHING VINES COME OVER HERE RN  
alecthearcher: YOU GOTTA COME GET ME  
glitterbane: NOT ONLY IS HE UGLY BUT HIS DISHES CAN TALK  
itsyaboi: WHO YOU TALKING TO BIH  
alecthearcher: ERR NOBODY  
glitterbane: GIRL THAT WAS HIS PLATE  
artdude: SNJSNSJLS BITCH IM COMING IVER  
wolfiee: ME AND LILY WILL BRING THE ALCOHOL  
lilgay: NOT RHE SANGRIA OR WHISKEY MAGNUS I SEE YOU TYPING  
glitterbane: BITCH  
lilgay: BITCG  
jacewayronwood: is all you have in your apartment alcohol??  
wolfiee: pretty much  
whipdab: ILL BRING THE PRINGLES WIG  
artdude: IZ BRING THE OREOS TOO  
jacewayronwood: FUCK IT IM BRINGING BEAN BAGS  
lilgay: PHEW ICONIC  
artdude: BAT LOOK AT YO BF GO  
itsyaboi: PROUD  
pansexualnerd: im gonna bring peace and happiness and niceness so lily doesn't get mad at me again  
lilgay: sounds abt right  
alecthearcher: OKAY HURRY UP  
glitterbane: BIHHh WE BE WAITING TO START ASJIKL  
itsyaboi: you know when magnus is getting impatient bc he doesn't use proper grammar  
jacewayronwood: YALL NEED TP BRING SLEEPING BAGS  
artdude: YES  
wolfiee: WE SLEEPING AT MAGNUS BAT AND ALECS TONIGHT WHIP  
itsyaboi: LEGENDARY  
whipdab: where we all gon sleep tho  
alecthearcher: maia and lily can sleep in the guest room  
lilgay: its what we deserve  
itsyaboi: jace can sleep in my bed obvi  
itsyaboi: simon can sleep on the couch since he got beat tf up by lily  
itsyaboi: clary and izzy yall are sleeping on the floor  
itsyaboi: the other couch is tiny  
whipdab: im bringing our mattress then  
glitterbane: nah you can top and tail on the couch from the guest room  
glitterbane: its not as small as the other one but its still kinda small  
artdude: dats fine  
pansexualnerd: yall sleeping w/ your significant other and im not  
pansexualnerd: i miss my raph  
glitterbane: aww  
whipdab: im aBt to tear up StOp this  
itsyaboi: ALECS CRYING  
jacewayronwood: AHAH IM YELLING  
alecthearcher: BIH NO I AINT  
alecthearcher: DONT EXPOSE ME BARTHOLOMEW  
pansexualnerd: alec the #1 sapheal shipper wow  
lilgay: get that on a shirt  
alecthearcher: STOOP ATTACKING ME  
glitterbane: STOOP  
artdude: STOOP  
glitterbane: WHEN THERES TOO MUCH DRAMA AT SCHOOL  
alecthearcher: ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS  
glitterbane: WALK AWAAAAAA  
alecthearcher: AAAYYYYYY  
wolfiee: STOP I HATE YOU TWO  
glitterbane: EVERYONE NEEDS TO HURRY TF UP OR I SWEAR ILL SCREAM  
whipdab: SNJKSL WE'RE COMING NOWW

10:08 pm

glitterbane: yo simone can you order some pizza please  
jacewayronwood: why are you texting him hes next to you  
glitterbane: because he wont answer  
glitterbane: i can see you reading the text sheldon  
glitterbane: SOLOMON ANSWER ME  
glitterbane: simon  
pansexualnerd: what  
glitterbane: order pizza please thanks  
pansexualnerd: no  
alecthearcher: bitch dont say no or i'll punch you  
alecthearcher: youre close enough for me too so,,  
pansexualnerd: stop staring at me like that  
artdude: that look is lowkey terrifying im  
pansexualnerd: if i get pizza will you stop  
alecthearcher: yes  
pansexualnerd: okay tell me what you want  
glitterbane: ham and pineapple  
lilgay: ew  
glitterbane: stop discriminating lily chen  
itsyaboi: STOP TEXTING EACH OTHER AND JUST TALK  
itsyaboi: WERE IN THE SAME ROOM FUCK  
alecthearcher: well why didnt you just tell us that??  
alecthearcher: stOp teXtiNg eAch oThEr aNd juSt tAlk !1!1!1!  
itsyaboi: stfu alExAndeR  
wolfiee: i hate you all  
wolfiee: except lily i love her  
lilgay: i love you too my bbg  
jacewayronwood: yALL MAKING ME TEAR UP STOP THIS  
pansexualnerd: PIZZAS ARE COMING SOON WHIP  
glitterbane: OKAY CAN WE CARRY ON WITH THE VINE MARATHON NOW???  
artdude: YES  
whipdab: YES  
pansexualnerd: YES  
alecthearcher: YES  
itsyaboi: YES  
lilgay: YES  
wolfiee: YES  
jacewayronwood: YES  
glitterbane: oh okay cool cool cool cool no doubt no doubt

3:04 am

alecthearcher: IDK WHOSE PHONE THAT IS BUT TURN IT TF OFF  
pansexualnerd: its mine shit im sorry  
pansexualnerd: ITS RAPH  
glitterbane: one, dont pick up the phone  
alecthearcher: yk hes only calling bc hes drunk and alone  
whipdab: STOP  
artdude: ITS 3AM STFU  
pansexualnerd: HES ON HIS WAY HOME SNJKLS IM GONNA CRY  
wolfiee: ASDFJK CUTE  
pansexualnerd: I MISS HIM SM IM IN TEARS  
artdude: hes not jk  
glitterbane: ik i can hear him  
itsyaboi: SIMONE STFU  
jacewayronwood: IM TRYNA GET MY BEAUTY SLEEP AFSLJKG STOP  
itsyaboi: you need it  
alecthearcher: you need it  
jacewayronwood: WTF  
jacewayronwood: DONT ATTACK ME  
wolfiee: cant believe your brother and bf both attacked you like that  
wolfiee: at the same time as well  
whipdab: iconic  
itsyaboi: he literally just punched me twice  
itsyaboi: one for me one for alec  
alecthearcher: oops sorry  
pansexualnerd: MAGNUS ALEC BAT???  
itsyaboi: yo  
alecthearcher: yo  
glitterbane: yes?  
pansexualnerd: can raph come over here when he gets back,,,hes like 5 mins away??  
glitterbane: alec and i said thats okay  
itsyaboi: yeah we good w that  
pansexualnerd: okays  
alecthearcher: two, dont let him in  
glitterbane: you'll have to kick him out again  
itsyaboi: two, dont be his friend  
artdude: yk your gonna wake up in his bed in the morning  
whipdab: and if your under him  
jacewayronwood: you aint gettin over him  
wolfiee: i got new rules i count em  
lilgay: I SWEAR  
lilgay: IF YOU DONT STFU ILL THROW THESE FISTs  
lilgay: except not at maia i love her so,,,  
wolfiee: i love you too angel  
glitterbane: alecs crying again  
alecthearcher: DONT JUDGE ME IM HAPPY CRYING AT THEIR HAPPINESS  
alecthearcher: PLUS I GET EMO WHEN I DRINK STOOP THIS  
whipdab: stoop  
jacewayronwood: lily where you been??  
lilgay: asleep like any other normal person at 3 FUCKING AM  
itsyaboi: GO OFF SWEETIE  
lilgay: ION LIKE U EITHER BATMAN STFU  
artdude: BATMAN  
alecthearcher: bAtMaN  
whipdab: IM YELLINF FUCK  
whipdab: RAPH JUST KNOCKED AND SIMON LITERALLY FELL OFF THE COUCH AND ROLLED TO THE DOOR AND JUST GOT UP SO CASUALLY I CANT BREATHE  
wolfiee: AVSBSJKL  
itsyaboi: SNJKLS  
alecthearcher: IM ADDING RAPH INTO THE CHAT BC IM HIGHKEY TOO LAZY TO GAY OUTOF BED TO SAY HI  
whipdab: GAY  
alecthearcher: I DIDNT MEAN THAT WTF SNJKLS  
alecthearcher: AUTOCORRECT MAKING EVERYTHING GAY DAMN

alecthearcher added santiagoaway to the chat

santiagoaway: hello everyone  
artdude: HIIIIII  
whipdab: HIIIIIIII  
itsyaboi: HIIIIIIIIIIIIII  
glitterbane: HIIIIIIIIIIIIII  
alecthearcher: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII  
lilgay: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII  
wolfiee: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII  
jacewayronwood: yo  
artdude: wtf jAcE  
whipdab: simons hugging him way too tight its like he's suffocating him shit  
glitterbane: help my child pLEASE  
santiagoaway: im your child??  
alecthearcher: hes ur child????  
glitterbane: yep  
artdude: yo raphael alecs your dad  
santiagoaway: WHAT  
alecthearcher: WHAT  
lilgay: that makes simone your son in law  
alecthearcher: NO WTF  
pansexualnerd: WHAT  
alecthearcher: I CAN DEAL WITH RAPH AS MY CHILD HES A GOOD KID BUT SIMONE AS MY SON IN LAW  
alecthearcher: WE DONT FUCKS WITH THAT  
pansexualnerd: WE DONT FUCKS WITH U  
wolfiee: SHIT  
glitterbane: RAPH GET UR BF UNDER CONTROL  
santiagoaway: HE AINT MY PROBLEM  
whipdab: UR DATING HIM  
santiagoaway: SO?  
jacewayronwood: SO HES YOUR PROBLEM  
santiagoaway: WHAT DO U WANT ME TO DO?  
glitterbane: KILL HIM  
whipdab: KISS HIM  
glitterbane: oh  
whipdab: oh  
glitterbane: y kiss him  
whipdab: idk ig if he has another mouth on his he cant talk  
santiagoaway: nah he talks anyway  
jacewayronwood: ASDGJLK  
lilgay: CAN WE SLEEP NOW AND TALK IN THE MORNING PLS  
santiagoaway: only if its over mags' waffles  
alecthearcher: YES YOUR MIND  
santiagoaway: BLESS  
artdude: BLESS  
whipdab: BLESS  
jacewayronwood: BLESS  
itsyaboi: BLESS  
wolfiee: BLESS  
lilgay: who we blessing  
glitterbane: jc  
jacewayronwood: jonathan christopher??  
glitterbane: no we blessing jesus christ  
artdude: jesus blesses us  
alecthearcher: yep with magnus' presence  
whipdab: tru  
itsyaboi: BLESS  
lilgay: STOOP  
glitterbane: STOOP  
santiagoaway: YALL NEED TO STOOP WITH THE STOOPS I JUST GOT SIMON TO SLEEP  
santiagoaway: AND THE NOTIFICATION SOUND THING WILL WAKE HIM UP  
artdude: AAHA  
santiagoaway: CLARISSA I SWEAR  
santiagoaway: HE'LL START TALKING AGAIN  
artdude: EVERYONE GO TO SLEEP  
whipdab: night  
artdude: night  
alecthearcher: niGht  
glitterbane: nIgHt  
itsyaboi: NiGhT  
jacewayronwood: niGHT  
lilgay: nigHT  
wolfiee: nighT  
santiagoaway: NIGHT  
pansexualnerd: gn  
artdude: fuck

4:37 am

alecthearcher changed the group chat name to 'raph the lil spoon"

7:08 am

artdude: ASDGKL WHAT  
whipdab: WTF ALEC IM  
itsyaboi: EXPLAIN PLS  
alecthearcher: okays so i heard a noise so i went to check what it was  
alecthearcher: it was the chairman dw  
alecthearcher: but before i figured out that it was the chairman i went to check that everyone was okay  
wolfiee: father???  
whipdab: y is alec lowkey our dad??  
alecthearcher: stfu  
alecthearcher: and im your bro iz wtf  
alecthearcher: besides you jace clary and bat, me and magnus are everyones fathers  
itsyaboi: y not me?  
artdude: why not me?  
alecthearcher: bc you’re dating my siblings it would be weird  
artdude: if everyones your kid  
artdude: then si is dating his bro and maia is dating her sis  
alecthearcher: yk what stfu me and mags are just raphs fathers we’ve disowned the rest of you  
alecthearcher: back to the story  
alecthearcher: so i checked everyones rooms and then i checked on raph and simone and,,,,,  
lilgay: ,,,,,  
jacewayronwood: ,,,,,  
glitterbane: ,,,,,,,  
itsyaboi: ,,,,,,  
artdude: ,,,,,,,  
whipdab: yall piss me off i swear  
whipdab: except clary shes soft i love her  
artdude: i love you too bby <33  
alecthearcher: 1, cute  
alecthearcher: 2, back to the story  
alecthearcher: ,,,,  
itsyaboi: dont even try that again alec  
alecthearcher: i discovered that raphs a little spOON  
artdude: AWW  
jacewayronwood: SNJKLS  
itsyaboi: CUTE  
whipdab: i lowkey knew he was  
lilgay: ^  
wolfiee: ^^  
santiagoaway: idk what you're exaggerating abt alec  
santiagoaway: you're the little spoon too  
jacewayronwood: ExPOSED  
glitterbane: this is a fact  
alecthearcher: TF RAPH HOW DO U KNOW  
artdude: i think we all knew  
whipdab: again it was obvious  
alecthearcher: smh  
santiagoaway: when i stayed over here a few weeks ago  
santiagoaway: when si kicked me out bc i didnt want to watch star wars  
santiagoaway: well your bedroom door was open and i saw you two when i went to get water  
alecthearcher: who gets water in the middLE of the night???  
whipdab: me  
artdude: me  
jacewayronwood: me  
itsyaboi: me  
lilgay: me  
glitterbane: me  
wolfiee: me  
wolfiee: except its usually alcohol  
glitterbane: mood  
jacewayronwood: its 7 how is that a mood?  
alecthearcher: u judging wAyRoNwOod??  
jacewayronwood: never liGhTwoOd  
alecthearcher: mmmmmmm  
alecthearcher: kay  
santiagoaway: yo mags you gonna make waffles now???  
glitterbane: do i have to?  
santiagoaway: yes  
artdude: yes  
whipdab: yes  
jacewayronwood: yes  
lilgay: yes  
wolfiee: yes  
itsyaboi: yes  
alecthearcher: yes please bby, if you dont mind <33  
whipdab: you whipped asf  
alecthearcher: ,,,  
alecthearcher: we been knew  
glitterbane: fine i'll make waffles  
glitterbane: but wheres sheldon  
santiagoaway: still asleep  
artdude: he hasnt really slept since raphaels been away so hes prolly exhausted  
wolfiee: he never does when raphael goes away he says he misses him and he cant sleep w/o him,,,hes too soft smh  
alecthearcher: wOW  
glitterbane: alecs crying  
itsyaboi: alecs too soft  
lilgay: ^  
alecthearcher: magnus why are you exposing me???  
alecthearcher: i thought i could trust you  
glitterbane: oops guess not  
artdude: agsjakl  
whipdab: mood  
santiagoaway: yo mags five more mins???  
glitterbane: okay

**Author's Note:**

> the way bat reacted to theo james is a constant mood tbh.  
> psa i miss malec stop this.
> 
> you can go follow my twitter @iukescatarina and my instagram @xenamour <33


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